When you split from your spouse, cooperation may not come easy. If you share custody, however, getting on the same page will benefit your mental health as well as the overall well-being of your children.
Avoiding these common custody-sharing mistakes during the weeks and months after your divorce can help pave the way for a healthy coparenting relationship.
Talking badly about the other parent
Even if you think your children are outside of earshot, avoid negative talk about the other parent. Doing so can affect kids’ self-esteem and make them feel caught in between the two most important people in their life. When you need to discuss adult matters, do so when your children are out of the home.
Losing your cool
Practice remaining neutral, pleasant and cool when talking to your ex-spouse if you struggle to get along. Although you will naturally feel angry, sad, frustrated and confused after your divorce, avoid letting those feelings get the best of your interactions with your former partner. Talking to a trusted friend or therapist to process your emotions can help smooth the rough edges of your coparenting relationship.
Failing to establish a healthy routine
When divorce decreases time with your children, you may feel tempted to make up for it with constant outings, gifts and treats, not to mention a lack of the usual rules. In fact, a strong daily routine that remains relatively consistent at both households can help children feel safe and secure after divorce.
Work with your child’s other parent to set big expectations, and try to let go of the little things during the other parent’s time.